VIRGIN IS EAGER TO USE TAMPONS,
BUT WORRIED ABOUT HYMEN...

Hi ,

I am a virgin but I want to use tampons. Can I even though I am not broken???? Please answer quickly. I start going to the Y in a few weeks!!!!!!!! I have no one else to ask. I heard about your Web site on a news station. Thank you so much!!!!!!

Dear Reader,

Yes, you can use tampons. Defloration.TV suggests that you practice putting in the tampon by first using the skinniest-sized tampon -- "slender" or "slim." Also dab a bit of water-based lube on the outside of the tampon to make the "sliding in" easier. Using a tampon is a two-step process: you slide in the applicator and then "push the plunger," thereby inserting the tampon. You could practice guiding in the tampon first, without pushing the "plunger," so that you can practice finding the place and angle for insertion.

As for breaking or not breaking the hymen, miss-erotica is not clear why this is important to you. Is it important that you have an intact hymen? Are religious reasons involved? Or cultural reasons? Or curiosity?

Hymens come in various shapes and designs. If your hymen is still intact and shaped like a person-hole cover, or a septum (a thin line of skin which divides the center of the vaginal opening, as does the septum of our nose), then this thin membrane of skin may stretch or break. On the other hand, if you have a hymen shaped like a crescent moon around the bottom or side of the vaginal opening, then tampons may not interfere at all. Interestingly, not all women are born with hymens, and hymens can break without women knowing it. Strenuous activities, such as bicycle riding, horseback riding, stretching, or dancing, can also cause the hymen to break. Lastly, a woman's hymen could have already been broken or stretched by sexual activity, even if she has not had a penis inside of her.

So, for all these reasons, encourages you in your tampon adventure. It is a rite of passage, and think of the stories you will tell your friends or write in your journal! You can visit Anna's page! She will insert a tampon through her hymen, slowly and gently!
HYMEN STRETCHING
Dear Defloration.TV

I am (still!) a virgin and have a question about the hymen. I know mine is not entirely intact, because I did a lot of horseback riding as a child. But as I'm not a tampon-user (nor wish to become one), I'm not exactly sure how painful intercourse will be, for the first time, nor what will happen to the hymen.

I always assumed it was a thin membrane that, upon penetration, would shrink evenly to the sides. But I seem to have what you might call a flesh tab, and though I've looked at pictures offered in Our Bodies, Ourselves, I'm not sure I understand how an opening will be created, and have the horrifying idea that a piece of flesh is going to drop out or be torn right out of me. Is it normal to have a flesh tab? What will happen to it? And if I tried inserting a tampon, would that facilitate the tearing process? Please help.

Yours,
Tawanda

Dear Tawanda,

The hymen is a thin membrane, with a space or spaces for periods to flow through, which partially blocks the opening of the vaginal introits, or vaginal entrance. Hymens can be stretched or torn during the first experience of sexual penetration, or with tampon use or other non-sexual activity. It can also be stretched with fingers. Some females are born without hymens. Once torn or stretched, the hymen becomes an irregular ring of tissue around the vaginal opening.

From your description, it sounds like your hymen is partially still in place. This need not cause you any concern. This flesh tab will shrink to the sides of the vagina following increased pressure on the hymen, through tampon, penis, or other object insertion in your vagina. You could also stretch your hymen yourself. It is a relatively simple procedure. Place a finger into your vagina (which can be lubricated with lube or saliva) and apply pressure on the vaginal entrance by pressing downward toward the anus. Keep the pressure on for a few minutes, then release it. Repeat this procedure several times, each time with a little more pressure. Then insert two fingers and apply pressure to the sides of the vaginal entrance, in addition to the downward stretching. This whole process can be repeated over several days and usually reduces any discomfort during a first experience of intercourse. However, keep in mind that in the majority of cases (though every female is different), the first coital experience is generally no traumatic, with limited discomfort and minor, if any, bleeding. Would you like to see this this on the video? No problem. We have it! Join now!

Abot the Hymen